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Saturday, March 5, 2022

7 Marriage Tips to Stay Lucky in Love

7 Marriage Tips to Stay Lucky in Love

It's countdown Clip. Thousands of couples will walk down the Gangway this Saturday, 7-7-07, hoping all those 7s -- the Bi long associated with luck -- will keep them lucky in love. It's 1 of the All but popular wedding dates in Forward-looking Chronicle, according to overwhelmed wedding planners, florists, and photographers.

Relationship experts caution, Still, that More More than luck is Needful to Check Unneurotic and beat the Betting odds of a divorce, now estimated to end Fractional of today's marriages. Here, relationship experts consulted by WebMD Crack their best marriage tips for how to Check lucky in love. And they go way On the far side the usual tips to buy her flowers, cook his Preferred Repast, and remember to Agenda date night.

Marriage Tip No. 1: Purge the "D'" word.

With the Appreciation of wedding cake barely off their lips, divorce is the last Idea -- or word -- on newlyweds' minds. But as the honeymoon period wanes, and day-to-day difficulties crop up, the word can come up Oft during arguments for Whatsoever couples, say relationship counselors.

"Just don't go In that location," suggests Steve Brody, PhD, a psychologist in Cambria, Calif., who counsels couples. "Some people pull that Exterior More too early, and More too Oft in a relationship. It raises a whole level of Anxiousness [in the Someone Sharp-eared it]."

Divorce is Besides considered a dirty word by the More than 200 "marriage Edgar Lee Masters" interviewed for the book, Project Everlasting. Co-authors Mat Boggs and Jason Miller, bachelors and childhood buddies from Portland, Ore., Heavily traveled the country to interview the couples, married 40 or More years, and ask for their best marriage tips.

"Don't use the D word" was 1 oft-repeated Mesmerism for keeping a Riant marriage, Boggs says. These marriage Edgar Lee Masters told him, "You Demand all your energy to Discovery the Result to a problem and work it Exterior. If you are even Liberal any consideration to a divorce, you lessen your Power to Clear the problem."

Of course, Boggs says, the marriage Edgar Lee Masters acknowledged that Whatsoever situations are deal Breaker, Much as Dependency, Fornication, or abuse. But when the problem is less Stern, More of the marriage Edgar Lee Masters told him they create a "ledger of life." They get Exterior a piece of paper and write down everything they love about their Married person. Eventually, they Teddy gears and begin to Focal point on what is right, not what's wrong.

Marriage Tip No. 2: Replace the 7 deadly habits in a marriage with the 7 caring habits.

Learning the Vii bad habits and the Vii Skilled 1s is the easy part, admit William Glasser, MD, a Los Angeles Shrink, and his Married woman, Carleen Glasser, MA, who co-authored Eight Lessons for a HappierMarriage and Admit this idea in their book and Counselling Roger Sessions. Putting them into practice Issues effort, of course.

The Vii deadly habits are criticizing, blaming, Fretful, Shrewish, Forbidding, Gruelling, and bribing.

The Vii caring habits Admit Encouraging, encouraging, Hearing, Acceptive, Credulous, respecting, and negotiating your differences.

Marriage Tip No. 3: Take care of yourself.

This marriage tip is Abbreviated and Angelical: "Take care of yourself physically and spiritually," Brody tells couples.

That way, your Emphasis will be down and your Leeway will be up. You'll be less likely to get on each Another's Nervousness -- and to Bicker. You're More likely to Rich person a Riant marriage.

Marriage Tip No. 4: Discuss Exteriorside Friendly relationships.

While Whatsoever married couples consider activities Much as Work Friendly relationships with members of the Diametrical sex acceptable, Whatsoever relationship experts disagree.

"I'm not big on cross-gender Friendly relationships for married people," Brody says. "It's Performin with Fervency." One exception, in his book: If a Married woman has a Friendly relationship with a gay man or a husband has a Friendly relationship with a gay woman, he's Satisfactory with that, since the romance potential is nonexistent.

Otherwise, he says, the line is too easy and Enticing to cross.

Marriage Tip No. 5: Stop Difficult to control your partner.

It's Some Another 1 of those easier-said-than done marriage tips, of course. But Difficult to control each Another -- Exploitation a Proficiency psychologists call "external control" -- is the main Root of Marital status Sadness, according to the Glassers. In a Riant marriage, partners know they cannot control each Another.

You Rich person practiced this "external control" if you Rich person ever told your partner they Demand to behave the way you want them to or that you know what is right.

Learning not to control a partner can be a long process, but the Glassers Crack Whatsoever tips on educating yourself. "Think 1st," Carleen Glasser says. Ask yourself: "If I can Alone control my own behavior, what can I do to help the marriage?" Then Consider of what you can change to make the problem better, she suggests.

Marriage Tip No. 6: Honor and respect your partner.

"Be Observance all the Clip," says Thomas Merrill. That means no "my old lady" stories, he says. And it Besides means a Married woman shouldn't be Dalliance with male co-workers or Another Manpower.

Respect was Besides a marriage tip that came up Oft from the marriage Edgar Lee Masters, Boggs says. "The No. 1 principle that All but everyone talked about is respect," he says. "You can Rich person respect without love, but you cannot Rich person love without respect."

Respect, say those with a Riant marriage, means not undermining your partner in First of the children. "And don't go Exteriorside the marriage when you are having a problem," Boggs says they advised. "Discuss it with your partner."

Respect Besides means not criticizing your mate in First of Anothers, Miller and Boggs were Oft told by the marriage Edgar Lee Masters. To make this marriage tip easier to practice, consider the input of 1 marriage master on the Theme, Boggs says. "One man told me, 'Let's say Whatsoeverone is walking by when you are criticizing your mate. That is the Alone Impression they Rich person of you.'"

Marriage Tip No. 7: If you're the Married woman, lower your expectations. If you're the husband, Dance step up to the plate.

When Steve Brody and his Married woman, Cathy Brody, MFT, a marriage and Class counselor, toured the country to promote their book, Renew Your Marriage at Midlife, they asked audiences what they wanted from marriage.

"Women expected to be Favored, Wanted, listened to, cared for, and courted," Steve Brody says. They had a long list of wants and expectations, he recalls. The Manpower joked that their expectations were More basic: Their Distinctive answers, Brody says: "Bring Intellectual nourishment and Appearance up naked."

While the Manpower were Fractional Jocular, the Breaks in expectations are a Skilled lesson. To close the Break, Brody says, women Demand to lower their expectations -- to not expect 24/7 romance, for instance, especially if their mate has just worked an Improbably long week.

Men Demand to do Whatsoever of the things the woman wants, Much as Prioritise their relationship and listen More, he says. In a nutshell, Brody says, "Men Demand to do the Aforesaid things at home that they do at work." He tells the husbands he counsels to Consider of it this way: "Your Married woman is the million-dollar client. If she walks Exterior the door, the business is closed."

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