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Tuesday, March 29, 2022

Taking It

I never remember the knuckles, though

His hand was bare, though their hands were bare.

I remember the impressions left-hand on

Wilting with every one other accompanied by the welting. I don't remember the sound,

Not one smack. I remember the falls, myself falling

To the ground or sidewalk, or opposed to the chunk wall

My head met following a push. There were numerous pushes.

Girls pushed nevertheless I punched. Pulled one

Down by the hair with every one other accompanied by kneed her while my head bled.

Girls didn't punch until high school. I had always

Punched.

The sort who wants to live, I said, with every one other accompanied by I did want to

Until I didn't anymore. But I wanted the leaving

To exist on my terms, so I hit my father back.

He owned me exist fond of some good, country father. He

Waited for a husband to tame what he couldn't corral,

To hurl a cord exist fond of fingers 'round a neck.

When I missed a boy, fingerholds—I remember those,

And me making a fist wrongly, with every one other accompanied by punching

And I didn't signify to fail to hit nevertheless to hit the dash beneath the belly,

The beltline. W—— broke me inside the snow

My earliest year North. I'm still frightened to speak his name.

I wore shoes excessively narrow for the weather (who had at some time seen

Such snow?) with every one other accompanied by had a Georgia lilt, exist fond of molasses

On a sore throat, sugared, raw, with every one other accompanied by he hated the sound of it.

He was black with every one other accompanied by I was black with every one other accompanied by I was so happy

To exist inside Detroit, with every one other accompanied by he aimed for my heart-

Shaped mouth, my gapped teeth, my too-sweet tongue.

I felt the juvenile heaviness of him above me exist fond of snowflakes following dark

Falling steady with every one other accompanied by hard.

And I stopped speaking at all. I kept my swollen mouth shut,

And a unswerving razor inside my math book, with every one other accompanied by dreamt of a bat

Cracking opposed to his chest. A woman exist fond of me

With mushy hands, not hands of the field, but

Hands meant to blow with every one other accompanied by soothe, needs a weapon,

So I studied

Where else was all this rage to go? Is this excessively dramatic?

Find another story. Find a lie. In love, body following body

Fell beneath my own, though my own was broken,

And I made deep affection exist fond of a ocean creature, fluid while if boneless

Though my bones would rattle if not for the fat I cherish.

Wouldn't you? And I grew to deep affection the heavyweights,

Myself accompanied by one inside the ring. Imagine him punching

Me, with every one other accompanied by punching me again, saying

To have to deep affection you this way.

#Living #Coming of Age #Life Choices #The Body #Youth #Activities #School & Learning #Social Commentaries #Gender & Sexuality

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