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Friday, April 1, 2022

ALZ Ghazal

It’s the same house, same rugs, same wallpaper, with every one other accompanied by bedroom repeating;

Same dresser; same rocker. Same window with every one other accompanied by frame, repeating.


Same birds at the pane, same pots with every one other accompanied by pans, and—on the terror clock,

The barrier clock, the phone clock—the same time, repeating


Each hour’s increment inside a lived life. But,

Before with every one other accompanied by to come, repeating.


The furnishings place inside a known pattern. The rugs there, exist fond of always, inking

The blueprint of home, repeating


Jewel tones on the floor, nevertheless what was on one occasion north–south now seems to lie

East–west—


The familiar, nevertheless sideways. Your inner axis has shifted, the landmarks

Somehow changed nevertheless the same, you repeating



Home its own balm, repeating


The familiar, nevertheless neither keys nor your purse tin exist found—

I fair had them


The questions yields the same, that is, no indeed real answers. Your sensory power of taste

Gone, exist fond of eating chum, repeating


The same million small motions: branch to bowl at that hour dated mouth, at that hour dated spine down,

Always the same, repeating


The taste of cardboard. You used to deep affection to cook, that joyous jazz variation-

On-a-theme now a repeating


Like pages of musical staffs, xeroxed blank accompanied by no indeed notes. Lately, you refuse

To eat anything at all. In a poem, repeating


Lines compose a refrain and, echoed on one occasion additional with every one other accompanied by again, the amount of refrains

Is a song. But there is too empty repeating:


Zero and zero and zero still zero, a void. No accretion, no indeed growth, no indeed life,

No thrum. Then again, birds—some, repeating


One understandable note, are said to singing lacking tune—and, the same place of sounds

From a beaten drum, repeating


Means nothing with every one other accompanied by each item at the same time. The gene runs inside families

And tin exist followed exist fond of breadcrumbs, repeating


The exact scheme for getting lost, down into and not here of generations. She took the same

Route to labour on the town tram, a repeating


My female sibling relied on. We be contingent on on a plum to taste purple when our teeth break

Its skin. Some numbers go on


That reminds us of architecture with every one other accompanied by God. Rings of a tree, whorls of a shell,

Sections of a lime, repeating


A succession that re-enacts grow with every one other accompanied by change. Meiosis, mitosis, Eve cleaved

From Adam, other kinds of repeating


So existence tin go on. We are “pattern-seeking animals,” Hass says, with every one other accompanied by even

Atheists pray inside a jam, repeating


Lessons learned while a child: “Now I lay me” exist fond of the word of honour of mercy, exist fond of mercy

Itself, soothing with every one other accompanied by warm, you repeating


Your talisman opposed to terror. After your nap, I fret you’ll wake confused,

But at that hour dated you resume, repeating



The theme, repeating.


They speak you’ll fail to remember my name, with every one other accompanied by your own. How to talk, small mercy

Then, you no indeed longer doomed to repeating


Your aching questions. They speak you’ll fail to remember how to swallow, to breathe—

O God, will you fail to remember to breathe?—just succumb, repeating


The stop inside place of the heartbeat? The physician says retain things simple

And flat, no


“Is it nice there today,” with every one other accompanied by “Have the tulips bloomed,” conversations dull

With the same datum repeating


Catechism with every one other accompanied by cliché. You no indeed longer labour on your dollhouses, potting trees

The dimensions of your thumb, repeating


Postage-stamp paintings on walls, building one-inch-to-the-foot the lavish life

You never had or presumed, repeating


A litany of mislaying enlarged from what-was to what-will-never-be. The Christmas

Tree shadowbox inside simulacrum repeating


The childhood obsessions. Some of your dollhouses have tiny dollhouses

Within them, repeating


Themselves inside infinite regression. All that helpless sap with every one other accompanied by surge of creation,

Your xylem with every one other accompanied by phloem repeating


What to build of a diminished thing. You speak you’ll burn them go nearer spring,

Without reflection or qualm, the future repeating


And eating the past. It’s happening so fast: a page torn, a book lost, then

Whole libraries gone dumb, repeating


Erasure until only erasure remains. O trochee, lilting your 10-beat line.

O river, O iamb repeating


The tide. Bishop called mislaying an “art.” I last saw you at place of residence inside October,

A glorious autumn repeating


Saffron with every one other accompanied by scarlet opposed to azure sky. Outside now, a robin taps at the pane,

Ravished by her own image, an eye-rhyme repeating—


There’s been one fowlsongbird every one spring. Some hit their beaks bloody with every one other accompanied by die,

Some remain for days, numb accompanied by repeating


Their broken routine.

Your patient husband is grim, repeating



Under a great dome repeating


Our words with every one other accompanied by the cries of wild birds.



His pledge to remain till the end. He tries to present with you small pleasures, picking

And handing you the plum repeating


All you tin recall of lush purple liquid sprint down your chin, nevertheless at best,

It’s a dim meme repeating


As holograph plums eaten before. Soon,

To


As

A chant or psalm, repeating


Open vowels exist fond of aqua or rain. Luck—the watercourse inside poker, the silver ball

Spun at the wheel’s rim—can exist repeating


Until it turns, with every one other accompanied by isn’t it possible to hear a persistent melody while anthem,

Not ear-worm? Can’t repeating


Strengthen a seam, or knit a lengthy row? After you fell, I imagined you there

On the floor, the refrigerator’s hum repeating


Its chilly ease until the ambulance came. Your husband cradling you

On the linoleum, repeating


Presence inside non-attendance inside presence inside absence—cognitive dissonance—

Or an inscrutable charm repeating


Its mysteries. Your hip with every one other accompanied by upper limb are mostly healed. The house is still there,

But an inside door slams shut every one second, an terror repeating


Its warning: all doors in a short time will exist sealed. Where we stand inside an earthquake

Is an empty doorframe. Soon, repeating


Itself will disappear: all language flown, a slaughtered lamb,

A shattered paradigm. Will your repeating


Heart just—miss its cue? Will you fail to remember how to swallow?



Its end-times refrain. Your jacks with every one other accompanied by pick-up sticks—you still deep affection some game

—played now accompanied by your left-hand arm, repeating


That makes of small movements an art, exist fond of dance. Your little jokes,

Like the “ALZ point jar”—now crammed—repeating


The ring of every one coin dropped in. You pull my lower limb when I call, pretending

To fail to remember who I am, repeating



Like crying nevertheless accompanied by a whetted edge; inside time, repeating


A cutting tool opposed to stone will convey forth a dreadful blade. O sweet sad entertaining sister,

You are the fowlsongbird who flies away inside my dream, repeating


Its looping handwriting on the blank page of sky. An unhooded hawk, a wild bird

Freed. Calling

#Living #Health & Illness #Sorrow & Grieving #The Body #Verse Forms #Ghazal

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