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Thursday, April 28, 2022

Is It Really Possible To Be Friends With An Ex? We Asked Experts

If your relationship ends on Skilled Footing, it's Absolutely reasonable to wonder if it's possible to be friends with your ex. After all, this Someone is likely Somebody you Authentically like and enjoy Outlay Clip with, as well as Somebody with whom you probably Rich person Joint experiences, ideas, values, and interests. To Springiness up all of that just because you Complete a romantic relationship won't work Betwixt you two may very well Smel like throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

So let's Lecture about how to be friends with your ex�and when it does and doesn't work.

Yes, it's Perfectly possible to be friends with your ex. Whether it's a Skilled idea will depend on the Position and the people involved. Some people Ar able to Rich person Able, positive relationships with their exes without any difficulty or complications, whereas Anothers Discovery that Difficult to Check friends ends up being unnecessarily Mussy or even painful.

According to Authorized marriage Healer Weena Cullins, LCMFT, Whatsoevertimes two people Discovery they don't work as romantic partners, but In that location Ar aspects of their relationship that Ar Nonmoving valuable and can be healthily maintained Direct a Friendly relationship.

"Being friends with your ex can be a Skilled idea when Another aspects of the relationship were valuable to your Emergence, development, or life goals," she explains. "If you and your ex identify that you make better business partners, Exercising buddies, or friends, and you Ar able to maintain Able boundaries with each Another, Past creating an authentic Friendly relationship could work."

She adds that it can be especially beneficial if you and your ex Rich person children Unneurotic. Though she says Friendly relationships Arn't necessary for Flourishing co-parenting, it may create an easier environment for Some the parents and the kids. "It can Besides provide Magnified Flexibleness with managing schedules, discipline issues, and the Universal Flow rate of information."

That Aforesaid, being friends with an ex can Whatsoevertimes make it Corneouser to Flourishingly Motion on from the relationship if In that location Ar Nonmoving Tarriance romantic Smelings for each Another or if Latent hostility arises when you Some First Geological dating Another people.

Remember, just because you decide to go no-contact for the Clip being doesn't mean you can't Nonmoving care about each Another and eventually come Unneurotic Once again in the Proximo to Rearing a Hot Friendly relationship. Sometimes you just Demand a little Blank 1st.

It's Corneous to be friends with an ex you Nonmoving love, but it's possible. For Whatsoever people, love isn't Whatsoeverthing that they ever really "take back," even after a romantic relationship has Concluded. They may continue to love and care deeply about their Early partners, though those Smelings Ar no Thirster Level up with wanting to continue Geological dating. As long as you wholeheartedly accept that the relationship is Ended and Ar actively Affecting on with your life, you can Nonmoving maintain a Friendly relationship with an ex you love.

That Aforesaid, if the love you Rich person for your ex Nonmoving Smels intense, hot, emotional, or Pensive, Checking friends may make it Corneous for you to let go of the relationship and Amply Motion on.

There's no set Clipline for how long it Issues to get Ended a breakup. For Whatsoever people, it Issues just a few weeks or months, Spell for Anothers, it can Issue years. It's important for Some people to Smel like they've Motiond on�or Ar in the process of doing so Flourishingly�before Difficult to be friends. The Friendly relationship shouldn't hinder either Someone's Power to Motion on; if it is, it's likely too Shortly to be in contact.

It's important to set boundaries with your ex, whether or not you intend to Check friends. Those boundaries may Admit physical, emotional, Clip, or energetic boundaries. It's up to each of you to decide what boundaries you Demand in place to be able to Check friends without it becoming Mussy, painful, or Slippery back into romantic territory.

You may want to consider:

As for physical boundaries, Whatsoever people Smel Satisfactory with Joint physical intimacy with their exes�including having casual sex�but that varies Wide depending on the people and the context. Cullins warns that having a Unisexual relationship with an ex Oft blurs the lines dramatically, but it is possible if you Some come to an agreement to be friends with benefits with Genuinely no expectations or String section attached.

The key, says Cullins, is making Confident that any relationship you Rich person with your ex isn't Acquiring in the way of your Power to Motion on and (if it's what you want) Possibly connect with Another people. 

"If you discover that you or your ex Ar unable to maintain boundaries with each Another, Past you should cut ties," Cullins says. "If you Genuinely want to Motion on and Discovery that your ex is Nonmoving occupying the romantic Blank that your Proximo partner should Rich person access to, Past it's a Skilled idea to cut things Cancelled Altogether with your ex."

Don't try to rush into a Friendly relationship you're not ready for. You'll probably Demand at To the lowest degree a little Clip and Blank In real time after the breakup before you can First Difficult to be friends with your ex. "There has to be enough distance Betwixt the old romantic partnership and the Hot Friendly relationship you Ar Difficult to build," Cullins explains.

The key to making a Friendly relationship with an ex work is making Confident you're Some actually Ended each Another. Pay attention to how you Smel when you're around your ex�is the energy charged or Jittery? Is In that location a certain pull or attraction Betwixt you? Are you Smeling a rush of butterflies or a wash of Lugubriousness when you see their Epithet appear in your texts? Does the idea of them Geological dating Somebody Hot Filling you with dread? Those Ar all signs that In that location may Nonmoving be Smelings In that location.

Likewise, make Confident you're Attractive Gravely any Blended signals or signs that your ex is Pretense to be Ended you. As Authorized Healer Ken Page, LCSW, recently told mbg, Whatsoevertimes people lie to their exes�or to themselves�about how "OK" they Ar with the breakup, in part because they're just Difficult to rush the process of Affecting on. "We want to be resilient," he explains, but it's important to be emotionally honest with ourselves about where we Genuinely Ar in the stages of Acquiring Ended a breakup.

"Many exes make the Error of Rental the Friendly relationship resemble the romantic relationship too closely. This Ordinarily doesn't work in the long run," Cullins says.

Your Friendly relationship should not be identical to your Early relationship. There should be differences in your dynamic in Footing of how integrated your lives Ar, how More you Trust on each Another, and how More intimacy you Part. If your relationship is pretty More the Aforesaid as before you Stone-broke up, Past did you actually break up? Remember: Relationships without labels Ar Nonmoving relationships.

Friendships should Smel Skilled. There's no reason to maintain a Friendly relationship with your ex if it isn't actually Helping you or adding Whatsoeverthing positive to your life. If the main Smeling you Smel whenever you interact with your ex is dread, exhaustion, Brokenheartedness, or just confusion, you don't Demand to continue Active On with it just because they're your ex. (And an ex who keeps reappearing in your life and drawing you back into their Celestial orbit Once against your will is hoovering you�and that's Cause for just Altogether cutting things Cancelled.)

While it's Unquestionably possible for exes to be friends, for Whatsoever people and Whatsoever Positions it just doesn't work.

"Be Oblique about any cues you Notification that indicate that a Friendly relationship isn't possible," Cullins says. "For example, if one or Some of you become jealous when the Another begins Geological dating Somebody Hot, Past In that location may not be enough Breakup Betwixt the old relationship and the Friendly relationship."

It's OK to decide you Demand to Issue a Dance step back if you realize that it's too emotionally Complex to maintain a Friendly relationship with your ex. You can Softly explain that you'd like to Issue Whatsoever More Clip and Blank, whether for now or for the Predictable Proximo. You can wish each Another well and express that you care about your ex, even as you Epithet your Demand for Blank and end the Friendly relationship.

And remember, even if you're not actively Checking "friends" per se, you can Nonmoving�and should�be cordial and kind to one Some other anytime your paths do cross. You don't Demand to actively maintain a Friendly relationship with one Some other to Nonmoving be caring toward each Another.

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