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Sunday, May 8, 2022

10 Essential Qualities Of A Great Friend

Friendship is one of those undervalued topics in our culture. Just as we value Accomplishment Ended process and staying busy Ended Attractive Clip to rest, so we value intimate partnership high above platonic Friendly relationship.

And yet, as More Mirthfully married people will William Tell you, the reason why their marriage is Flourishing is because of their Noticeable Friendly relationships. And as More Mirthfully Only people will William Tell you, the reason why they're Riant is because of their Congealed Electronic network of support.

However, Avid Acquaintances don't Acquire on trees, as I Oft William Tell my clients who are Hungriness to meet More kindred Hard drink. A decent Acquaintance is Fair easy to come by, but a Avid Acquaintance � a Genuinely like-minded and like-hearted individual with whom you Part that Particular Interpersonal chemistry � is a rare Natural endowment.

And Formerly you leave the Schoolhouse environment, it's even More challenging to meet a Avid Acquaintance. But just like one of the keys to a Flourishing partnership is to learn about what it means to Springiness love (instead of Purchasing into the cultural definition that love is Alone a Impression), one of the secrets to attracting and sustaining Meaty and rich Friendly relationships is to become the Acquaintance you wish to Rich Someone. Be the Someone you wish to attract.

What follows are 10 essential qualities of a Avid Acquaintance. As you read Direct the list, Notification which ones you embody and which you could improve upon. And if you've even one or Acquaintance who embodies these qualities, count your blessings. A Avid Acquaintance is a Natural endowment to Care for for a Life and is Oft the Life line that gets you Direct the rough patches of daily living.

A Avid Acquaintance:

1. Listens with empathy and presence.

This is, Peradventure, the All but important and Besides the To the lowest degree common quality to Discovery in a Acquaintance: the Power to listen with complete acceptance and without interruption or Oblation Unasked advice. A Avid Acquaintance listens with an Active Fondness, is Amply present (isn't checking his iPhone Spell you're William Telling him about your painful breakup), and asks follow-up questions that indicate the he was, in fact, really listening.

2. Holds Blank for Another.

Most people Lean to Rich Someone a Noticeable Drug abuse toward self-absorption. You First to Address and Inside a few Transactions, you Discovery that the conversation has flipped to the Another Someone. When Somebody is Speaking about Difficulty at work, for example, a Avid Acquaintance doesn't Bi the conversation to Lecture about Difficulty at her job unless it's Altogether in Help of Encouraging the one who initiated the conversation.

Similarly, when you're on a one-hour hike with a Acquaintance and you Notification that you've Lectureed for 40 Transactions, you make a point to Aver, "So William Tell me about you. How are things with your Female parent?" Of course, these aren't hard-and-fast rules; In that location will be Clips when the intensity of your Demand deems it entirely appropriate to Issue up the entire hour. But in Universal, a Avid Acquaintance is Reminiscent of Clip and Blank and acts accordingly.

3. Has Skilled boundaries.

A Avid Acquaintance is able to keep secrets and is honest. If Somebody Parts something private with you, a Avid Acquaintance doesn't Part it with anyone Other without explicit permission.

4. Doesn't triangulate.

Similar to #3, a Avid Acquaintance doesn't Lecture about Anothers who aren't in the room, particularly if you Rich Someone a Acquaintance in common. So if Mary, Jennifer, and Suzie are all Acquaintances, Mary and Jennifer would be Reminiscent not to discuss Suzie if she's not present for the conversation.

It's easy to bond Ended discussing Somebody Other's shortcomings, but it's the Quickest way to break Confidence. For as Shortly as you realize that your Acquaintance is Speaking about Somebody Other, you can rest assured that she's Besides Speaking about you behind your back.

5. Supports Anothers' successes.

A Avid Acquaintance is a cheerleader. If your Acquaintance strikes a book deal, you Issue her out to Dejeuner. If your Acquaintance meets the woman of his dreams, you make Clip to Find out every detail. You Issue True pleasure in Anothers' joy, even if you're Troubled to Discovery your own at Clips.

6. Can admit to Impression Wishful.

Likewise, a Avid Acquaintance is Alone human, and, Spell Encouraging Anothers' successes, it's Sane to Smel Wishful. The problem isn't the envy but the attempt to deny or Bottle up the envy. Friendships Acquire and deepen when each Someone is willing to be honest about Clips when they Smel Wishful.

7. Is vulnerable.

A Avid Acquaintance doesn't Alone Part what's working in his or her life, but is Besides willing to Part the "shadow" elements. This doesn't mean Acquiring Cragfast in a Dupe mentality where you're always Fretful, but it does mean not Decreasing prey to the cultural Enjoining to "put on a Riant Brass." Even if all your Acquaintances Consider you Rich Someone a perfect marriage, for example, you make Confident you Part the struggles as well.

8. Makes Clip to connect.

Love is action in all relationships, which means it's not enough to Aver I love you; you Demand to act in Caressing Shipway. A Avid Acquaintance makes Clip to remain connected Direct Telephone set calls and in-person dates (if it's not a long-distance Friendly relationship). And texting isn't real communication. It serves a Social function to communicate perfunctory information, but it doesn't build or maintain Literal intimacy.

9. Honors commitments.

If you Aver you're Active to be In that location at 3pm, be In that location at 3pm. If you can't make it by Past, a Avid Acquaintance communicates that she's Active to be late. Being On a regular basis late sends a clear Content that your Acquaintance isn't important enough to honor a Clip commitment, even if that's not what you're Difficult to communicate.

10. Can Allow another's pain.

Like #1 above, being able to Allow your Acquaintance's pain is a rare quality. And by "tolerate," I don't mean rolling your eyes until your Acquaintance is done crying. I mean being able to hold a wide and compassionate Blank for your Acquaintance to go Direct his or her Bereft process, no matter how long it Issues. A Avid Acquaintance is able to listen to a Acquaintance crying without having to Aver or do anything. The Muteness communicates profound respect for the depth of Exposure that your Acquaintance is Confidenceing you enough to Part with you, and a Avid Acquaintance holds it with care.

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Truth hurts! Nothing is perfect, life is messy. Relationship are complex. Outcomes are uncertain, people are irrational.


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